The Girl on the Boat

It was Sam Marlowe’s fate to fall in love with a girl on the R.M.S. “Atlantic” (New York to Southampton) who had ideals. She was looking for a man just like Sir Galahad, and refused to be put off with any inferior substitute. A lucky accident on the first day of the voyage placed Sam for the moment in the Galahad class, but he could not stay the pace.

He follows Billie Bennett “around,” scheming, blundering and hoping, so does the parrot faced young man Bream Mortimer, Sam’s rival.

There is a somewhat hectic series of events at Windles, a country house in Hampshire, where Billie’s ideals still block the way and Sam comes on in spite of everything.

Then comes the moment when Billie.... It is a Wodehouse novel in every sense of the term.

ONE MOMENT!

Before my friend Mr. Jenkins—wait a minute, Herbert—before my friend Mr. Jenkins formally throws this book open to the public, I should like to say a few words. You, sir, and you, and you at the back, if you will kindly restrain your impatience.... There is no need to jostle. There will be copies for all. Thank you. I shall not detain you long.

I wish to clear myself of a possible charge of plagiarism. You smile. Ah! but you don’t know. You don’t realise how careful even a splendid fellow like myself has to be. You wouldn’t have me go down to posterity as Pelham the Pincher, would you? No! Very well, then. By the time this volume is in the hands of the customers, everybody will, of course, have read Mr. J. Storer Clouston’s “The Lunatic at Large Again.” (Those who are chumps enough to miss it deserve no consideration.) Well, both the hero of “The Lunatic” and my “Sam Marlowe” try to get out of a tight corner by hiding in a suit of armour in the hall of a country-house. Looks fishy, yes? And yet I call on Heaven to witness that I am innocent, innocent. And, if the word of Northumberland Avenue Wodehouse is not sufficient, let me point out that this story and Mr. Clouston’s appeared simultaneously in serial form in their respective magazines. This proves, I think, that at these cross-roads, at any rate, there has been no dirty work. All right, Herb., you can let ’em in now.

P. G. WODEHOUSE.

Constitutional Club, Northumberland Avenue.

Contents

WHAT THIS STORY IS ABOUT ONE MOMENT!

I. A DISTURBING MORNING II. GALLANT RESCUE BY WELL-DRESSED YOUNG MAN III. SAM PAVES THE WAY IV. SAM CLICKS V. PERSECUTION OF EUSTACE VI. SCENE AT A SHIP’S CONCERT VII. SUNDERED HEARTS VIII. SIR MALLABY OFFERS A SUGGESTION IX. ROUGH WORK AT A DINNER TABLE X. TROUBLE AT WINDLES XI. MR. BENNETT HAS A BAD NIGHT XII. THE LURID PAST OF JOHN PETERS XIII. SHOCKS ALL ROUND XIV. STRONG REMARKS BY A FATHER XV. DRAMA AT A COUNTRY HOUSE XVI. WEBSTER, FRIEND IN NEED XVII. A CROWDED NIGHT

The Girl on the Boat

CHAPTER I. A DISTURBING MORNING

Through the curtained windows of the furnished flat which Mrs. Horace Hignett had rented for her stay in New York, rays of golden sunlight peeped in like the foremost spies of some advancing army. It was a fine summer morning. The hands of the Dutch clock in the hall pointed to thirteen minutes past nine; those of the ormolu clock in the sitting-room to eleven minutes past ten; those of the carriage clock on the bookshelf to fourteen minutes to six. In other words, it was exactly eight; and Mrs. Hignett acknowledged the fact by moving her head on the pillow, opening her eyes, and sitting up in bed. She always woke at eight precisely.